Thursday, January 17, 2008

Overwhelmed

Classes started on Monday. They are all really interesting and I have awesome professors. HOwever, they are all reading intensive and important to my major. I love to read, so I don't think it will be so bad once I get a routine down. Along with classes, the carrer center came and talked to my Intro. into International Studies class today about all the things we need to do to get prepared to find a job before we graduate. I have never worried about what I'm going to do after I graduate, until today. I don't know why, i just all of sudden was so unsure of everything my heart has been saying to me for so long. I started to make a list in my head of people to talk to about future carrers and paths that would be good for me to follow. As I'm typing this and rereading what I just put down, i'm seeing that thats not me and I don't believe that I am suppose to go into some kind of international buisness, or teaching or whatever else those people may say. I know my heart and I what I want to do. Way above that, I belive and trust that God knows my heart as well and He is going to take care of me...and all my student loans. My career path may not be clearly defined, heck I probably wont have a career, but I have to hope that God knows what He is doing. It so easy to be in place where people have such high expectations of you and you start wanting to reach them, when they just don't fit how are created to be. I'm definitly in that place. I want my professors to like me and know that I am passionate about what I'm studying, but I can't spend time worrying about it and trying to reach human standards, b/c then I forgot about God and what He wants of me and He is the one I find peace from. Its crazy how wacked out I can get from other people. I don't know if anyone else can relate, but seriously don't fret over people liking you or not liking you or having ridiculous expectations of you. Living for Jesus is the most freeing thing there is, b/c he has it all taken care of. Galations 1:10 says " For am I seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please me, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ." I need to tatto this thing to my head, my hand...everywhere, b/c its hard and easy to forget.