Learning

I was stuck in traffic in Mobile on my home...it was a beautiful day, so I decided to snap some photos while waiting.

So I'm back in the States from Barcelona. Its been good to be home. Right now I'm in alabama with my family and its been good to get to catch up with them and just sit in their presence. I have had soo much fun playing with my 18 month old brother. He is beyond adorable...of course I'm sure I'm biased, but really he is pretty darn cute. He loves cell phones right now and he'll pretend to talk on it when he gets hold of one. oh, and he also knows how to "gig'em", (its when you put your thumb up and say "gig'em ags" at Texas A&M) like i said...pretty darn cute! My sister and I are leaving Tuesday to drive back to Texas and then I'll head up to Arlington for a couple of days then go back to my grandparents and try to get everything together to move back to College Station for another semester. Then I start back to work January 10th and then classes start the 14th. I can't believe it is all happening so quickly.

along with it being good to be home, it has also been hard and confusing. I lived in a culture completly different from mine for 3 months and I learned so much and my eyes were opened up to so much. Being thrown back into my culture, where I only speak English and I understand what people are saying when I pass them on the street, or not having to stress about how to say something when I go out to eat...its all really weird. On top of that, trying to explain to people my experience is also difficult. there is so much to say, but I'm at loss for words when people ask me and don't have time to listen. I'm really uncomfortable back here and I'm not even where I'm going to be living for the semester. I keep trying to think about what my mindset and thoughts were when i arrived in Barcelona. I remember thinking alot about being a student in every aspect. A student of culture, language, art, school, people... I wanted and believed that I needed to learn from the people that, I believe, God put in my path to be there to guide me and help me find my way around the city and adapt to the culture. so I have been thinking about that the past couple of days and I'm seeing that I need to be a student of my own culture. I don't have it all figured out,and lets face it, I never will. I think it is important to be rooted on certain aspects of our lives, but to also be willing to listen and learn from other people. I believe that God can and does teach through other people, weather they believe in the same God as you, or have the same political views, or they are from a different culture or race or family or different backgroud and experiences. So, i'm seeking to be student of my home, my family, who I'm with or around. Its alot harder here and honestly I'm not that aware as I should be of the importance of listening and being present where I'm at. Its funny how cultural prejudices are there and you don't even know why.

I'm not sure how I will fit back in College Station, Texas. I hope that I will remain a student in every aspect. I want and need to learn so much. do you ever have those times when you reflect on the things you have said and done in the past and just cringe at your ignorance and are even kind of embarassed? Well, I've been doing that. I hate it when I think about the past in that way, but I guess its another way of how I learn. I'm continuing to learn to understand that I need to have patience and grace with myself. God has given me so much grace and he is so patient with me.

"26 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

I love this verse from the Bible. It gives me hope and a desire to trust in God and not in myself. I can't live this life without Him. I try many days and for even long periods of time, but I see a difference when I depend on God each day and not myself.

Happy New Year!

Questions...

How do you explain the last 3 months of your life?

How do you answer "So how was Spain?"?

How do you adapt back to American culture, but still hold on to the things that are important to you from Spanish culture?

How are you going to keep up your spanish?

How are you going to stay in touch with your friends in Barcelona and be there for your friends in the States?

How are you going to work, go to school, be involved in the community, spend time knowing and learning about Jesus, stay connected with friends and family, paint, write, try to make good grades and not go crazy?

What is life going to be like after these 3 months in Barcelona?

Am I going to have the same friends?

Is my life going to be different after being away for 3 months?

I'm a girl of questions right now. I'm freaked out about going home. Can I be honest? I can't wait to see the people in my life that I love, but I'm going to miss the ones I have come to love here in Barcelona more than I know how to explain. I can't believe how fast my time here as gone by. while it was happening it seemed like it was going so slow, but now that its over its like "what?!?! I leave Saturday??!?!" I have no words to express how thankful I am to have been able to live in Barcelona for these past 3 months. I have met so many wonderful people and made some priceless friendships. I have been able to live in a city that is older than my own country. I have met people from all over the world and have lived with them. Oh, there is so much...somethings wonderful and exciting and other things that were and are hard to deal with and I'm not sure how its going to look when I get back to the states. Its a journey and my experience in Barcelona is not just a page in my journal. I pray that I will continue to learn from time here and that my life will be different in the states.

On a present note...I'm going to Barca championship futball (soccer) game tomorrow...WHOOP!! I'm pretty excited! I have a paper I am going to try to start tonight or early tomorrow morning...thankfully there is a starbucks very close to my residencia. Friday I'm going to Montjuic with some friends and one my friends from Spanish class, her and her husband are opening a bar here in Barcelona, so a bunch of us are going to the opening that night. then i'm probably not going to go to sleep, since Tanner and I have to get a taxi at 5am and then we leave Barcelona at 7:30 to London, then to Chicago. In Chicago Tanner and I split and he flies to Dallas and I fly to Houston. Its going to be long day. I think I'll arrive in Houston at 5:30am Barcelona time and like 9:30 Texas time. So weird to think about it all. Now I should probably start packing, but I think I'm going to go sleep instead. Buenas Noches!

learning to be a child

Sometimes I think we try to grow ourselves up way to fast. I was sitting in Starbucks the other morning enjoying Christmas music and some wonderful Christmas blend coffee. I place myself next to a window where I could see all the tourists with their Barcelona guide books and crazy confusing maps stretched out trying to decide where to go. As I'm gazing out the window, I see a little girl walking with her mom. next thing I see, is the little girl steps up on the edge of the window to walk a bit taller next to her mom. It seems that it was all done in silence, but I did I have a window between me and the possible words that could have flown. The little girls expression though, was like "there is a place where i can be taller when I walk, so why shouldn't I?..Duh!" For some reason this just warmed my heart and made me think about how fast I am trying to grow up. I'm such a planner. I get a month ahead of myself all the time and miss the gift of the moments I am so blessed to have. I want to be that little girl, and jump up on a ledge and walk just because its fun to be taller than you really are. Given, i'm not a fan of high heel shoes, but i do like rollercoasters and being at the top of a mountain. How often do we just do stuff because its fun? i don't do it as nearly as much as i feel compelled sometimes...but hopefully I am changing and will a bit more now.

More thoughts...
I'm living in such a crazy, beautiful, ecclectic, delightfully charming city. Yes, their are tons of toursits all of the time, but there are also beautiful Spainards and other nationalities that are trying to make life happen here. I'm falling in love with my life here. Its hard in some ways to not always be surrounded by other believers in Jesus Christ, but at the same time its blissfully wonderful. To no longer feel like you are competeting for Holiness against your friends and family you dearly love. I'm alone, I do have my friends from the states that have the same beliefs, but I don't see them everyday. I'm alone, I have no one to measure myself agaisnt, but Jesus Christ, and lets face it, I don't compare to the King of Kings and the Prince of Peace. I am being so humbled and so humilitated by my lack of understanding of what it means to be a child of God. I don't have it figured out. I'm messed up, like the rest of us. The moment I think I have it figured out, I fall on my face and I miss the point once again. thankfully, I'm loved as i am in this moment by my Creator. Jesus loves me when I pitch fit, when I'm unfaithful, when my selfishness rules over what He wants, he loves me as i am in that moment. The more I seek Him the more I am refined and made more like Him. It doesn't happen over night. It takes time. I'm learning to be patient with myself. God is so patient with me.

One of my favorite things I have done lately was Saturday my friend Rose and i went on a hunt to find an ice skating rink, well by the time we found it, it was closing. By that time we were pretty hungry. A popular food in the winter in Catalunya is sweet potatoes and chestnuts. So Rose and I had to Las Ramblas to a little vendor on the side and bought roasted chestnuts and sweet potatoes (are you singing the Christmas song in your head...yes!). Then we headed to Plaza Catalunya to sit and enjoy our meal while watching the people. It was so much fun! Rose is a fellow gluten-intolerant friend and since McDonalds has gluten-free stuff, we decided to have a Mcflurry for dessert. It was a fantastic day! So here are some pics from that.

"chestnuts roasting on an open fire...Jack frot nipping at your nose..." oh I love Christmas!


Yummy!!!



Here are some girls from my resi. We had a birthday party for one of the girls, Adrianna, and also a going away party for my friend Gaby.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

These are a few of my favorite things...

To make the time here go by slower I have become increasingly more aware of the things in BCN that I simply just adore and the things that I don't think I will miss to much.

I love that each day I walk to class I see and hear someone playing an instrument or singing their heart out to make some money. I love that on a random day, like today, there is a movie being filmed...yeah its a Spanish movie so don't get to excited, but hey famous people here in Barcelona, pretty awesome. I love that you can buy chocolate pretty much anywhere. I love that there is always an ice cream shop in sight. I love that you can buy coffee anywhere...even in my school; it comes out of a machine, but its really good. I love it when I see people dancing to the beat of someones music. i love that people just stop where they are at and just start kissing...I don't know that this is necessarily a great thing, but I like seeing people live in the moment and being real. I love that I have to walk pretty much everywhere I go. I love buying my food in open market. I love that I can look out almost any window and see something extraordinarily beautiful. (I think i am contradicting my last post with the use of love...but I'm trying to emphasis how much I like it here). i love pomegranates (I'm eating one as I type this post). I love public transportation...I'm just not that great at driving. I love the people, the culture, my friends...so much more.

I'm not a big fan of poop on the side walk, tourist...hmm I think I qualify as one. The random whiffs of what smells like raw sewage is pretty awful. Cars and motos driving down this little streets. even though I say I don't like these things...I'm probably going to miss them.

Along with seeing the things that I see each day in Barcelona I have become more aware of the presence of God. I'm trying to look for him in all things that I see, because He is everywhere. One of the things I say to myself everyday when i am in the midst of fear or just being overwhelmed I whisper to myself "I have Jesus." I do. I have Jesus. he gives me life each day. He knows no fear. I am who I am because I have Jesus in my life. He is taking care of me. That's another thing i was thinking about the other day. God has never let me down. Never. I have never been disappointed at what He has done in my life. He is so faithful...not like people. God loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us. Let me say that again. God loves us so much that He sent Jesus, his only son, to die for us. You know why? Because he loves us and he wants us to spend all eternity with Him. But even beyond that. God does not want us to have "life" insurance by saying we believe in Him and believe that Jesus rose from the dead. He wants us to know Him now. He wants us to have satisfaction in Him. He wants us to enjoy His presence. He wants to hear our voice talking to Him when we are distressed or in fear. He doesn't want us to wait until we are standing before Him at the gates of Heaven to know Him more. We can know Him now.


Here are some pictures of some of my favorite things...yes I have watched a bit of The Sound of Music recently.



this is picture of an old palace at Montjuic. Now its an art museum. It is one of my favorite places I have visited so far.




this the view from the top of Montjuic...isn't it gorgeous!?!




These are some of our friends from school at our Halloween party.



this is at Montserrat. Its a good 2 hour train/bus/metro/walking from Barcelona.



That's right...its movie being filmed...so cool!




The best coffee shop in the world!



Lastly, people dancing the traditional Catalan dance, that i forgot the name of.



This is Haley, Tanner, Rose, Sonya and me at an awesome Irish bar. It reminds me of Harry Potter.



Karin, Me and Gaby. We all live together in my residencia.




This Sofie from Belgium. We also live together.





So here is tiny glimpse of my life here in Barcelona. Have a fantastic day!

What is Love?

What is love? How does it look? What does it mean to love someone? In the Bible I have found many passages that I have been meditating on trying to understand more of what Love is.

Galatians 5:6 "For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."

Galatians 5:13-15 "You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command; 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will destroyed by each other."

Galatians 5: 22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

1 Corinthians 13 "If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I ma fully known. And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the GREATEST of these is love."

Philippians 2:1-5 "If you have any encouragement fromg being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better tahn yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of the others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."

I'm learning that Love is the most important thing to continue to learn and study about. But really loving is so much more than throwing the word around. I think about how many times a day I say, "I love chocolate, or I love coffee, or I love this or that..." really?!?! I mean those things can't love me back. What does it really mean to love? Jesus Christ is the best example of what Love is. He died on the cross for ALL men's sins. He did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but took the very nature of a servant (Phil. 2:6-7). He loves me when I dishonor Him, when I say "yes" to what I want over what He wants. He loves me when I am selfish, when I say mean things or think horrible thoughts...He still loves me. Not just me...He loves all men. He desires for all men to know Him and to know of His love, the love that only He can give. Love...what does it mean to you?

Adventures in Spanish

So learning a new language is fun, not easy, and lets just say a different exciting adventure. For example, on Friday my friend Eunice and I were on our way to Sagrada Familia. I told her "nessicito un cafe antes de vamos Sagrada Familia," translated that means I need coffee before we leave. So after that I thought she said we would get it on the way and she asked me where I liked to get coffee. I told here it didn't matter, anywhere is fine. So she started walking and I followed...so I thought. After a good 10 minutes, she told me "your coffee sure is far away" So it turns out I was following her and she was following me...with no direction in mind. We laughed for a little bit then made our way to Starbucks. I'm thankful we were able to laugh about and not get discouraged b/c she was talking to me in English and I was talking to her in Spanish. Oh the adventures.

Another thing i have realized with learning a new language is fear. Its amazing how not being able to express yourself with words can lead you to be afraid of things that you never thought you would be afriad of. Yesterday happened to be one of those days...I was afraid to even go get cereal out of my cabinet in the kitchen, b/c I didn't want to run into someone and not udnerstand them and then not be able to have a conversation. One night I literally ate peanut butter b/c I did not want to be embarassed with my American way of cooking...more like lack of cooking. I have been afraid to ask for help, b/c I know the frustration of them not being able to understand me and me not understand them and we both turn red in the face. I'm afraid sometimes to even go wash my clothes b/c I'm really not sure if there is a time when I can and can't wash clothes. Sadly these are some of the fears I have acquired being here. I'm not writing this to make you feel sorry for me...please whatever you do, don't feel sorry for me. I'm learning from these things and striving to remeber that God did not give me a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind. Thankful fear did not stop me from coming to Spain and I'm seeking the Lord to not let it stop me from actually "being" in Spain. Its an adventure, thats all. What adventure have you heard of when someone didn't fall and scrape their knee, get dirty, fall down and get a little more hungry than usual? I'm learning and thats the important thing. I want to learn from every person i encounter each day. I am a student of the culture here in Barcelona, of Spanish, of people and I'm a student of the word of God. Its just kind of funny the things that fear will let you do. I'm glad I'm more aware of it now, so I can not let it defeat me. Its only in giving it to the Lord each day will I be able to not let fear bring me down.

Some thoughts from Spain

This is one of my favorite pictures thus far in Barcelona!

So I started language school this past Monday...Yay!!! It really is great. I'm so thankful that we even started 3 weeks after arriving, because now I'm so familar with always hearing and speaking Spanish and it has actually been a great encouragment...I understand 97% of what my professor says. Praise the Lord!! Honestly it is only because of God that I am able to speak and understand the Spanish that I hear each day...all glory to His name for that blessing! With starting language school we have met quite a few more people. They all speak in English...which is a nice break for my brain. It is really exhausting each day trying to think and speak in a language that is not your "mother" language, my friend Karin would say. It has gotten more tiring these past few days, because we actually have some what of a schedule now ontop of what we were doing before school...so at the end of each day I'm in need of good nights rest. But I love it!!! I love the language...I want to forget English. No worries I still speak english...clearly, but I really am enjoying learning Spanish in a culture where I have to learn it...its soo much easier than sitting in a classroom in the states.

On top of language school I signed up and paid for art classes yesterday at Davinci escola d'art (Catalan), in other words Leonardo Davinci school of art. I'm going to be focusing on drawing (dibujando) and painting (pintando). I'm excited to get to learn from other people and be humbled as well. yesterday when I went to the school to sign up and fill out information...which was quite an adventure by the way, I felt like a lost puppy. I needed to show my teacher some of my work on the computer and well, I'm in Spain and the computers are in Spanish and on top of that is was a Mac...so I couldn't figure some things for the life of me. thankfully I remebered how to ask "can you help me" and some people assisted me in getting to my pictures. Well then I had to wait for the teacher...who was super busy. So I walked around the small school and admired the art on all the walls, I observed how focused everyone was and how tranquel and sereal that moment was. I looked out of a window and peered at all the busy shoppers under the gray sky. I felt like I was in a movie...it was a very romantic moment in that it dawned on me that I am in Barcelona, Spain for three months...how amazing. I am only here because God provided a way for me to be here. I have never been more out of my comfort zone, never more challenged or moved in my life. It is truly beautiful what God is doing.

One of the things that I am learning about is how precious time is. I am seeing how ridiculously busy I am in the states. I hate it. I have never been more at peace with life than I am now. We take so many moments for granted and we miss so many opportunities to truly love and develop relationships because of a meeting for this club or this event is going on, or we have to work or we are taking more hours than we should so we are studying all the time. is it worth it? For me...no. People deserve more time. Don't get me wrong...I definitely fit the mold of an overinvolved college student, but I pray that I when I return to the states that God will give me wisdom in how to have a less stressful life. I pray that we will all examine our lives and see where we spend most of our time. Is it things that really matter? How deep are our friendships? How much sleep do we get at night? Who are we living for?...are we living to be excepted by a job, our friends, family expectaions or whatever. What and who are we living for? These are challeging questions for me...I'm a people pleaser and I don't like when I upset someone or someone doesn't like me. Sad. Really it is sad. I want to choose each moment of each day to give to my God. The Lord of Lords, The King of Kings, The Prince of Peace, My Creator and giver of each day of life. If I give Him all things He makes life for me and I have to choose to say yes to His will for my life...and lets face it...who knows better than the one who created my inmost being, who knit me together in mother's womb, who laid out my days before me...the one who made me does. (Psalm 39)

Speaking without words

Here are a couple of pictures of my favorite door and graffiti...and I'm not computer savy...so i have no idea how to turn them upright. But pretty cool uh? If you want to see more pictures of Barcelona just send me an e-mail and I'll send you a link to look at them

Today I went out with a friend from my residencia. Her name is Eunice; she is very funny and her English is very good. She offered to show me some more places where I can buy groceries for a better price and then we went to buenas migas for some coffee and to practice speaking in English and Spanish. As we were walking and struggling to understand each other, I started to think about how much I depend on my words to express who I am...or really to make myself feel better about who I am to other people. I think that makes sense? Now I'm learning, for most of my time here all I really have are my actions and simple gestures, such as smiling, hugging, or the traditional kiss on both cheeks, to show my love to other people. Its very difficult and honestly today was a day where I got very frustrated with just being able to explain to someone that I lost my glasses. My pride is being knocked down in every way and I'm being filled with humility, which is beautiful, but man its not fun to go through. I long to speak and understand Spanish better, but honestly right now its to make myself feel better about myself...which is probably why it is soo difficult. I'm learning so much about how selfish I am and that the things I feel I need I need the most, I don't need. All I can do is keep trusting in the Lord for his timing in understanding this beautiful language...thankfully he is continuing to give me the desire to learn it, but not without a struggle.

Life in BCN so far

Well, I have now been in Barcelona for almost 3 weeks. It is all kind of blurr to me now that I think about it. Sadly I have been sick for a little over a week now, so that has limited me to not really function as "julie," but I am getting better and am learning how to function despite how I feel. So basicly the past week I have been trying to take it easy and rest alot, which has been difficult at night, but during the day has been good.

Besides being ill, I have been exploring this beautiful city and learning to let it become my home. Mine and Tanner's schedules have been a bit empty b/c we haven't started language school yet. So Tuesday we decided to get together and hang out, b/c we have both been getting pretty bored. So we met and had coffe at Buenas Migas...which is a wonderful, adorable, amazing coffee shop! That is one thing about Spain I know I'm going to miss when i return home. Not to mention the chocolate here is incredible as well...I have pretty much been having a bar a day...I'm totally justifying it too by saying I walk at least 5 miles a day. Anyways, after we had some cafe con leche and chatted for a bit we began our mission of taking pictures of random things. I focused on doors and grafiti. my first day in BCN i could not get over how beautiful and different all the doors are here. I know...I go to Barcelona and the thing that impresses me the most are doors! And the grafiti here is not considered rude or disrepectful to property, its considered art...and some of it is really impressive. So Tanner and I walked around the city doing that and stopped for lunch at this great little Mexican restaurant...its my favorite place to eat so far!

After lunch we wanted to see if could find our language school...which we start on Monday. We will be going to class from 1:30-3:30 5 days a week for 2 months. On top of language shcool I've decided to take some art classes as well. So I went today with Eva, another girl here from the states, and looked at her art school. the school is soo adorable and very ecclectic (sp?). I must say I am little intimidated, not b/c of the art aspect, but the spanish. Not being able to understand what people are saying and not being understood is a frustration i am very well aquainted with now. Today though the Lord reminded me of a verse in 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." I can't let fear stop me from doing what i love and desire to learn more about.

There is a little bit of what is going on. I'm going to try to be better about posting and I'll try to put some pictures up later as well!

Paintings and pictures of my sweet brother

Here are some paintings I did while I was home in Alabama. Some of them the Lord used to provide monehy for me to go to Spain...so pretty sweet. I also put some pics up of my sweet 15 month old brother...isn't he just plan adorable!!

Getting ready for Spain

Its finally here!! I leave for Spain this Sunday the 16th and I'm so super excited! I don't think the reality of it is really hitting me yet, but man I can't wait!

This summer has been awesome in so many different ways. I took classes, worked, spent some great time with my family in Alabama and now in Texas, went to an awesome conference this past weekend, painted, read some great books and just spent good time with friends. Now I get to go and make some new friends, learn more spanish, learn more about life in a different culture, see more beauty of this world and just have a plain awesome time. I'm going with expectation! I know it will be difficult too, but what isn't. Its going to be alot of about choosing how to take each day and making the most of each moment I am given rejoicing and with being thankful.

I pretty much going to be putting photos on here and send out e-mails with my updates. I have not quite yet figured out how to put photos on here, but it could be that my grandparents have dial-up and it just doesn't like crazy things such as photos being moved from place to place. So hopefully I will get that going soon and I put up pictures from home, FOCUS (the conference), and some my paintings. If your are reading this and your not and on my e-mail update list, just let me know and I'll add you. Happy Monday!