Learning

I was stuck in traffic in Mobile on my home...it was a beautiful day, so I decided to snap some photos while waiting.

So I'm back in the States from Barcelona. Its been good to be home. Right now I'm in alabama with my family and its been good to get to catch up with them and just sit in their presence. I have had soo much fun playing with my 18 month old brother. He is beyond adorable...of course I'm sure I'm biased, but really he is pretty darn cute. He loves cell phones right now and he'll pretend to talk on it when he gets hold of one. oh, and he also knows how to "gig'em", (its when you put your thumb up and say "gig'em ags" at Texas A&M) like i said...pretty darn cute! My sister and I are leaving Tuesday to drive back to Texas and then I'll head up to Arlington for a couple of days then go back to my grandparents and try to get everything together to move back to College Station for another semester. Then I start back to work January 10th and then classes start the 14th. I can't believe it is all happening so quickly.

along with it being good to be home, it has also been hard and confusing. I lived in a culture completly different from mine for 3 months and I learned so much and my eyes were opened up to so much. Being thrown back into my culture, where I only speak English and I understand what people are saying when I pass them on the street, or not having to stress about how to say something when I go out to eat...its all really weird. On top of that, trying to explain to people my experience is also difficult. there is so much to say, but I'm at loss for words when people ask me and don't have time to listen. I'm really uncomfortable back here and I'm not even where I'm going to be living for the semester. I keep trying to think about what my mindset and thoughts were when i arrived in Barcelona. I remember thinking alot about being a student in every aspect. A student of culture, language, art, school, people... I wanted and believed that I needed to learn from the people that, I believe, God put in my path to be there to guide me and help me find my way around the city and adapt to the culture. so I have been thinking about that the past couple of days and I'm seeing that I need to be a student of my own culture. I don't have it all figured out,and lets face it, I never will. I think it is important to be rooted on certain aspects of our lives, but to also be willing to listen and learn from other people. I believe that God can and does teach through other people, weather they believe in the same God as you, or have the same political views, or they are from a different culture or race or family or different backgroud and experiences. So, i'm seeking to be student of my home, my family, who I'm with or around. Its alot harder here and honestly I'm not that aware as I should be of the importance of listening and being present where I'm at. Its funny how cultural prejudices are there and you don't even know why.

I'm not sure how I will fit back in College Station, Texas. I hope that I will remain a student in every aspect. I want and need to learn so much. do you ever have those times when you reflect on the things you have said and done in the past and just cringe at your ignorance and are even kind of embarassed? Well, I've been doing that. I hate it when I think about the past in that way, but I guess its another way of how I learn. I'm continuing to learn to understand that I need to have patience and grace with myself. God has given me so much grace and he is so patient with me.

"26 Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things–and the things that are not–to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

I love this verse from the Bible. It gives me hope and a desire to trust in God and not in myself. I can't live this life without Him. I try many days and for even long periods of time, but I see a difference when I depend on God each day and not myself.

Happy New Year!